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I've been up all night drinking To drown my sorrow's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
I've been up all night drinking To drown my sorrow

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[27 Jul 2005|02:22pm]
im deleting this journal in about 5 minutes.
:(
1 WaStEd WoRdS, On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

eeeeks. [23 Jul 2005|11:49pm]
[ mood | satisfied ]

i have this obsession with CSI.
its really bad.

On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[23 Jul 2005|10:20am]
ive never heard thunder as loud as i did last night at 345... i guess it had been going on for an hour... i slept thru it ... all except for the big gosh damn bang above my house.. i swear i thought a plane crashed ... i jumped so bad in my sleep i fell out of bed..... i had to feel around for pants and then i ran to my dads room and screamed... what is that dad what is that .. he laughed and said thunder.. and i told him he was crazy it was something worse... so i ran out side .... sure enough thunder and lighting... rain? no rain.... wtf
lol
i hate thunder.
it scares me :(
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[21 Jul 2005|06:38pm]
i brought george a poster of corpse bride... hes so excited lol... he likes mxpx and mest wtf happend haha oh well im happy. i won two skate demo tickets from ruggy for this sunday ... we cant wait we are going to have so much funn...
eeekks i gotta go get back in his bed.
rawrr

luv apeshit
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[21 Jul 2005|10:11am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

i went and saw charlie and the chocolate factory on broadway while i was in new york. it was great but i couldnt wait until george saw it. so we went last night ... and the only thing as great as that movie was the preview for CORPSE BRIDE... EEEEKKKSSS.... im so excited. so yeah ... i definatly think charlie was worth the 18 bucks. so go see it. haha.
k gotta go into town
byeeee

On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[20 Jul 2005|11:51am]
AND BY THE WAY STOP COMING AND READING MY LIVEJOURNAL YOU ARENT ON MY FRIENDS LIST AND IM NOT ON YOURS SO WTF... YOU OBVIOUSLY HAVE TO COME FIND MY LIVEJOURNAL ... SO CHILL OUT AND LIVE YOUR LIFE. YOU HAVE MOVED ON .. YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND... AGAIN LIKE LAST TIME AT LEAST GEORGE DIDNT HAVE A GF WHEN YOU MESSED AROUND.. THAT IS SOMETHING HE HAS ALWAYS HAD ON YOU.. HES BEEN SINGLE EVERY TIME ITS HAPPEND.. YOU ON THE OTHER HAND CONTINUE TO DATE THE SAME GUY... DONT YOU HAVE ANY RESPECT FOR THE PEOPLE CLOSEST TO YOU IN YOUR LIFE... BESIDES GEORGE.
MOVE ALONG LIL DOGGY. ITS TIME.
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[20 Jul 2005|11:47am]
ELI.
IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS ON WHAT I WROTE PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL ME
NOT GEORGE
ME
I WROTE EVERYTHING
SO I WOULD KNOW ABOUT IT NOT HIM
YOU JUST CALL HIM AND ASK HIM WHAT I WROTE BECAUSE YOU WANT TO PISS HIM OFF AND RUN HIM INTO THE WALL
IF YOU REALLY HAVE A QUESTION ABOUT WHAT I WROTE
THEN ASK ME


AND THEY ARENT LIES
YOU ARE A FUKKING BITCH AND IM NOT SCARED TO TELL YOU THAT
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

you are my favorite thing about the west coast [18 Jul 2005|01:50am]
i guess the worst has to happen for you to realize the love.
which is fine.
i get a ring when i get back to cali.
george is my favorite thing about the west coast and thats why i cant bring myself to move to vermont right now
not until him and i can show my mom that we can live together before she lets us in her home in vermont lmao
hes on his way to missouri and is flying home .. tomorrow i think and if so thats sick cus im flyin home tomorrow night also
he cant wait to get back to me and i cant wait to get to him
hes so cute hes obsessed with meet the barkers so he went and got the shirt travis wears when his mama pics him up from the airport so he can wear it when his mama (me) pics him up
he cracks me up...
so new york city is great
ill prolly up date when i get home and write out most of my trip
at least the fun stuff haha but im way tired
i miss my home and my own bed and my own toliet and walkin outside barefoot and i miss my dog and my backyard and my bestest friend isis
and george


yay less then 24 hours and im commin home
3 WaStEd WoRdS, On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[15 Jul 2005|09:11pm]
while i am here on the other side of the country getting everything together my ex boyfriend found it to be ok to go behind my back and do something with someone he knew from the second he did he shouldnt
i cant get mad at him because he is my ex
i dont have sex with him
well because as some of you may remember i ended up with something from someone ... and it makes me hate myself it makes me grossed out it makes me fear life every day... it hurts it scars it just kills me and my self esteem... but i dont talk about it with any one because eww who wants to hear about something like that

thou george and i did talk last night and he knows how grossed out i am with myself and he made it very clear that he thinks im very tasty :-D he said the sex with her was really shitty and he cant wait to bend me over in my car in the airport parking lot when i pick him up :)
oh i cant wait.
yummmy
haha sorry for being so describtive
but i love my papa george and im excited for him to come home to his mama
(in his words)
rawrrrr we are gonna run away together.
i <3 him . and love him no matter where he dips his stick
lmao
1 WaStEd WoRdS, On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[14 Jul 2005|12:19am]
vermont is nothing but gosh damn trees
and stop lights in the middle of the free way
ya
wtf
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[14 Jul 2005|12:15am]
I've got another confession to make
I'm your fool
Everyone's got their chains to break
Holdin' you

Were you born to resist or be abused?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

Are you gone and onto someone new?
I needed somewhere to hang my head
Without your noose
You gave me something that I didn't have
But had no use
I was too weak to give in
Too strong to lose
My heart is under arrest again
But I break loose
My head is giving me life or death
But I can't choose
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?


Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
The life, the love
You die to heal
The hope that starts
The broken hearts
You trust, you must
Confess

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?

I've got another confession my friend
I'm no fool
I'm getting tired of starting again
Somewhere new

Were you born to resist or be abused?
I swear I'll never give in
I refuse

Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
Has someone taken your faith?
Its real, the pain you feel
You trust, you must
Confess


Is someone getting the best, the best, the best, the best of you?
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[12 Jul 2005|12:02am]
CAN U BELIEVE IT?
IM OUT OF CALI FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY WHOLE LIFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
IM IN NEW YORK/VERMONT TILL MONDAY


BYEEEEEEEEEE
1 WaStEd WoRdS, On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[01 Jul 2005|02:50pm]
[ mood | stoned ]

june 29th i went to kelly clarkson lmao i had fun and i am not afraid to admit it
june 30th i turned 20 and after a long day i finally got down to warped tour to see about 6 bands play
i got 2 autographs i wanted
the hot ass guitarist of mxpx
and the lead singer of hawthorn heights
i had a good time in the end
i dont feel 20.
eeeks


luv apeshit

On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[29 Jun 2005|07:19am]
[ mood | excited ]

yay tomorrow is my 20th birthday... im excited

today im going to go see kelly clarkson in concert... ya ya ya whatever i have a thing for her.. its like a weakness lmao... so kevin mary kathrine and george are going with me ... oh the things i had to bribe george with lmao jk... ;) then when i get home tonite my car will be here with a brand new transmission and right axel and breaks yay!!! then tomorrow on my birthday im going to warped tour :-D i feel bad that im not taking george but its my 20th birthday and i want to spend it with jennyfer... lol... george and i are doing a lot better yay! .. im moving to vermont in the next couple of months... and then we are probabaly moving him with us.. which makes me happy.. <3
happy god damn birthday
if any one has the CDs let me know


the new foo fighters
the starting line with the girl sitting on the couch on the cover with the song (playing favorites)
those are all i want for my birthday ... but i dont want to buy them so i just want copies...

luv ape

On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[15 Jun 2005|01:08pm]
why cant things be simple for just once.... i get up super early get ready and drive myself to palomar to re register for classes and get a parking permit a new id card and be on my damn way so i drive there get there realize i have a hold on my account until i return a video or pay for it ... so i say ok ill pay for it so admissions sends me to the book store the book store sends me to the library and they tell me i have to pay it at the fallbrook office and there is no way around it so i drive my ass back here and gosh darnit they office doesnt open till 4... so now i cant do crap till 4... but on the good side of things once i get registered for my classes i can get the job at the library and make 11 bucks an hour... k i guess i have nothing to really complain about lol..... so i think im going to take yoga yay!! and either computer quick books or photoshop CS and maybe forensic science hmmm


ta
ta
for
now
ape
1 WaStEd WoRdS, On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[12 Jun 2005|03:31pm]
[ mood | amused ]

so yesterday was our barbq... hahahahahahaha on the side of the road... litterily... we had a blast thou.... it was me jenn and isis most of the time ... thomas came by and a bunch of younger kids hahah and a couple hott ass tattoo artists that work at got ink... i like the one with the long beard and long hair... i think im gonna go try and hook it up hahaha wish me luck... so yeah then jenns friend daniel came over... thank you daniel for making my night the best it could be ahhahahahahaha... chris called jenn while we were getting food like 50 times.. he yells at me cus i call a million times in a row ... jenn wondered how many denys it was going to take till he got the picture... well after like 4 she picked up hahaha.. he wanted food and we had already ordered... he then asked what movies we wanted to watch so we picked some out and came back... he bitched and complained all damn night lol... here i am with a UTI and im not in the mood for someones bullshit... i feel like crap but im not going to announce to the world that it kills me when i pee and it feels like i have to pee 24 7 really bad... so his lil attitude didnt help.... the past few times we have hung out with a bunch of other people ... he is mister im all that and im sick of it.. its such a turn off... when i try and flirt with a guy or jenn for that matter he butts in and makes me feel like shit and says mean things to me ... like he looks down on me ... and i dont put up with people that think they are so much better ... if you are .. then why are you around ... i hate people that bitch about not having fun and how boring it is to just sit ... well i like hangin out with my friends and just talkin and seeing whats happening ... i dont have to always being going somewhere and doing something.... so i felt like shit and chris decided since i was being rude that he wasnt going to sit up and let the other 3 of us that didnt have seats for the movie sit down.... so daniel and jenn were just going to sit on the floor.. now here i am at 130 in the morning and im suppose to be spending the night at isis's and hes laying across my bed and the blankets so we cant do anything about it ... so finally after all his rude ass comments i go pee and go to leave and tell isis sorry i walk out the door and hes like what your leaving? and i didnt say a word to him ... he wonders what the point of bringing movies over if we werent going to hang and watch them... well news flash ... you called us and asked us what movies we wanted.... we never called and asked you to bring them over.
god people some times just make me want to stick my finger up there ass and scrap with my nail :-D
i love you jennyfer

5 WaStEd WoRdS, On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[12 Jun 2005|11:47am]
i <3 george ... i know it will all be ok...
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

APRIL ROCK MY SOCKS [07 Jun 2005|07:35pm]
I just want everyone to know that i love april... By the way this is Jennyfer... shes my beeyotch whoo hoo anyways im in a library right now and i cant handle all these books n shit.. allright time to go just if i die always remember these words of advice.. GET R DONE
On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

[01 Jun 2005|01:32pm]
things are looking up for me and george
we needed a break and time to heal and do an over view of life...
we will be fine
;)
1 WaStEd WoRdS, On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

brandon koptieff [27 May 2005|12:29pm]
[ mood | content ]

so i got in the truck with an old best friend today and we started driving and he went to change the cd and told me to close my eyes till it came on and i did and it was
jayded by the band mest... that song explained him and me when we were inseprable so well... it brought back so many memories from 03 from that first day in february when he came over before explorers to the last day in 03 when we drove to ocittillo just to get my mind of matthew for the new years eve it was great this song followed us everywhere together... driving to the beach driving to san diego .. to races in perris to disneyland and knotts, to prom and matts funeral to jens car accident... just everywhere ... it brought back the best days of my life... and it made me realize
that i will in fact be ok and this sadness will end.
i feel like i did when i thought the whole world was going to end
except this time
he stepped in just enough to give me a hug and bring back old memories when i had him to lean on
he assured me that i will always have him to lean on and he never had to say a word.
he also explained to me the definition of the word WHY
its a word that will kill you everytime
when you stand up ask your self why
when you go to eat that peice of cake ask your self why
when you start listening to a new band ask your self why
when you end a relationship or are in one that ends... ask your self why
everything you do ask your self why
and it will teach you to always be true to your self


thank you brandon.
i love you to death
love april.

On LoWeR CaSeS aNd CaPiTaLs

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